C O N F I D E N T .

Confident.

Adjective.

Feeling or showing confidence in oneself or one’s abilities or qualities.

Synonyms: self-assured, self-confident, positive.

Routine:

  • Shower every 2nd or 3rd day, dependent on activities.
  • Let hair Dry.
  • Straighten Hair.
  • Kill hair with 200 odd degree heat.
  • Repeat.

Why? Because this is how I felt the most confident, the prettiest, more acceptable. But that’s not true. I just failed to accept myself and my natural beauty, outlined by my natural features I was neglecting. 2 weeks ago, I went into hectic research about hair, hairstyles, shampoo and conditioners, and the list goes on. I bought shampoo and conditioner – sulphate, alcohol, parafen and silicone free. These ingredients are so so so damaging to your hair. News flash. You thought your hair was the easiest part of your bod to maintain? Nope. Sorry! The Shamps and Conditioner works perfectly with my hair and I’m following the Curly Girl Method to take care of my natural wavy/curly hair. Self-care is so so important and needed. (Minus the dye I’ve used – oopsie! It’s washing out though and then no more chemicals!!!)

With my natural hair striving, I’m slowly feeling more and more confident with my natural hair and learning how to properly maintain it.

I’m starting to feel pretty, in my own skin, with my own features.

There’s a reason we were each blessed with our own individual features. Don’t manipulate them into change, rather embrace them.

Own it. Own you.

X,

N

 

 

 

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Find your flow.

Is there someone in your life you are deeming to change? Do you find yourself taking on the responsibility for other people’s transformation? Do you get annoyed, almost angry if they are not living up to the standard they could?

I know it all too well. Having had to grow up quicker the last two years, I have gone through a lot of personal growth, change and massive realization. When I saw someone suffering, I felt a responsibility to save them. And believing I could change them and put them on their right path in life. HA! It’s safe to say all my life, especially the last few years I have put everyone else first. I put everyone else before my own needs, my own happiness, my own self. So much so I lost who I was, I lost my path in life and I lost out on living. And as bizarre as it may sound, I wasn’t living – I was merely existing. I’ve learnt recently that it’s not our job to save other people. A lot of my last relationship taught me this, as I had hoped and tried to “help” him. You see the toxic behavior they partake in, you see their crippling pain not even they realize, but most of all you see their potential and possibilities that lie ahead of them. That’s where I lost myself – I gave all my energy to putting this boy first, his happiness, his needs, my desire to want to help him. Where was I? Hidden away in a shell. It is exhausting trying to live for another person.

So I stopped. I let go. I realized I can’t make a change or help him, if he isn’t willing to help himself. Or anyone that’s come and gone in my life, matter of fact. I let go, it was time. It was a hard decision, but now I’m living. I have bloomed. I allowed the water and sunshine into my life, so I could live and bloom again. The last few months I’ve found some of the most important people in my life, I can count them on my hand. They have been there for me through thick and thin, ups and downs and absolutely every single thing. The last few months, I’ve finally put myself first and allowed happiness, change and experience to flow into my life. I’ve allowed the energy to ebb and flow. I take things as they come, and let them go if they want to. And the funny thing? I lost something that was important to me, but gained so so so much more. I’m going after my future, I’m not letting anyone stand in my way or tell me I can’t chase my dreams anymore. I’m going, at full force to my happy place. Blessings will be received, I can feel it in my bones.

It’s true what they say. Live your life, and let that be the inspiration to others.

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have of trying to change others.” – Jacob Braude

Xox,

Nicks

Love, Simon. ♥

My name’s Simon, I’m just like you. For the most part my life is totally normal. My dad is the annoyingly handsome quarterback who married the hot valedictorian. And, no, they didn’t peak in high school. I have a sister I actually like, not that I’d ever tell her that, and last year in the 200th episode of Chop2Go she decided she wanted to be a chef. And then there’s my friends. Two of them I’ve known since pretty much the beginning of time, or at least kindergarten. One of them I just met a few months ago, but it feels like I’ve known her forever. We do everything friends do, we drink way too much iced coffee, we watch bad ‘90s movies and hangout at Waffle House dreaming of college and gorging on carbs. So, like I said, I’m just like you. I have a totally perfectly normal life. Except I have one huge-ass secret. Nobody knows I’m gay.

I never, ever, ever, EVER do movie reviews and to be honest this isn’t even going to be your typical movie review of the rating and story line and blah blah. No. But stay reading for what it is going to ‘review’.

Love, Simon – It’s a comedy-drama which revolves around the 17-year-old, Simon Spier facing the struggle of coming out to his friends, family and school. He reads a post by someone and falls for this online pen-pal, also happening to be gay.

This movie is nothing short of phenomenal, inspiring and spectacular. Big props to the creators. The movie hit me hard, and really opened my eyes to how immensely difficult it is to have to come out to loved ones, and the pressure that society places on this topic. It is immensley sad how society has twisted it into something negative, when everyone deserves their own true, happy love story. Why should it matter who we fall in love with – girl, guy? It should purely matter for the person whom we fall in love with, their interior, their very soul and their entire being – not their exterior. If someone is happy loving someone of the same gender, why can’t they be happy? It may not be your preference, but they’re happy, they are in love, and their living their own fairytale out just like every single person deserves.

‘Who you are to the world is pretty terrifying because what if the world doesn’t like you?’ – Simon Spier

Accept everyone for who they are, for what they choose to believe in and most importantly for who they choose to believe in. I never truly realized how difficult it is to come out, it genuinely shook me at how hard something so simple needs to be. Why? All simply because society doesn’t accept homosexuality, but they accept heterosexuality within the blink of an eye, not even?

Last year, I had the honour to become friends with the most bubble and genuine soul. Becoming good friends with this person, they built the courage and trust in me to confide in me and come out to be that they were gay. I was so lucky to be part of the news, and so so happy for him. Not because he was my friend, but because he also deserves his own love story. But the next struggle was to come out to his parents, which was obviously a turning factor, but at the end of the day he came out and he was glad he did. Why hide behind a black curtain, when you’re allowed to stand proud for who you are, and who you are destined to be?! You deserve to be who you truly want to be, so own it. Own you. I am so proud of who he has become, he has strived so much more as a person and has truly filled his character. He’s found love, lost it, had his heart-broken but has found happiness again thereafter in life, in friends, in family. The Journey is worth it, you are worth it, your story is worth it.

Please, please, please never be afraid to be who you are, and never, ever let other people change you just because you don’t think they will accept you. If they don’t accept you, it is their loss and you deserve people who will accept you – UNCONDITIONALLY.

Be unconditionally YOU.

Love, Simon.

Shine a Light.

With the holidays beginning I thought I would have more time for my blog, and myself – which has not been the case of late. Sorry! But alas, update as to what’s been keeping my little soul busy.

Work, work, work amongst bike learners, and stress and more work and endless amounts of sleep. I practically have lived out my life in my bed lately.

My weekend consisted of about 8 hours sleep in total over 3 days – but for sure, worth every second for I lived for the memories and moments I got to experience. I worked a 16 hour shift at a work function that just passed the last weekend and otherwise was there to support the club and see friends, memories upon memories were made and these will be treasured, in my little heart. Sorry! None the less, it allowed me to open my eyes and allow me to create bonds with people more than I had before, and it shows how intricate and different each individual human is and the baggage each different individual may carry. Some stories may make you cry, and others make you thankful. Just remember, always be gentle to others because you never know what they’ve gone through and what they carry with them.

I also wrote my learners for my Bike license, and my drivers is currently in progress – so I am definitely stoked to be completing that within these holidays.

Beyond that, I aim to do some research regarding my future coming up for next year and find my own little path in life.

With love and fairy lights,

N.

Exam Stress.

It’s been a rough week – 4 exams in one week, and 5 for my sister. To say the least, we are dead tired with a young 4 hours of sleep approx. per night this week. We were so tired, we “studied” together which just consisted of us laughing and making stupid, hilarious noises because our brains just founded every possible thing funny. It’s crazy how draining retaining and obtaining information is in such a short time span.

Anyway, with one exam left next week I just wanted to pop on here quickly. With the exam time, and the stress and so forth my body and mind has taken a toll. I’ve been eating like crap – quick, ready meals or take away’s. Anything easy and quick to fill my tummy to stimulate my mind and dive into the next study session. This has taken an evident toll on my health and my body, and my general well being and I am definetly excited to get back into routine of work, hockey, gym and for sure healthy eating next week – 2 months holiday incoming = REVIVAL TIME.

I’ll be pursuing zombie mode until tuesday, y’all.

Xox

N

Tales of a Bar lady.

It will either entertain you, bore you or drive you to throw some punches.

I recently got a new job, yes, yes – you’re probably thinking, “You go girl!”. Why, why, thank you. Anyway, why one would want to work serving drunken oaks till late in the morning, was my exact same question when I even considered applying. Nonetheless, I put on my big girl pants, or rather big girl skirt, and chased my way to the interview after my classes. Uni life, whoopers. Got the job, trained the same evening and was working a shift 2 days later.

Right, that’s two degrees, one job and half a sleeping pattern gone.. wait, a sleeping pattern completely gone, but who needs sleep right?

It’s great though, not only being welcomed into a new sense of community, but being treated with respect and care, and security. The job has it’s perks, for sure.

But the tales of a Bar lady have better perks. Haha! Oh the times I sit behind that bar counter and observe, listen and end up laughing my butt off. It’s the times you get to be part of another person’s insight and life for those few moments, and to be part of their story and experiences that genuinely pull me in and make me think and realize a lot about life and experiences in general, and the amount of ups and downs everyone goes through. Everyone has their own baggage, and everyone has their own story to tell. Every story is as beautiful as the other – whether it’s filled with a whirlwind of pain, joys, scars, beauty or everlasting happiness, let them be who they want to be. Let everyone discover themselves independently of the world and the pressure of society.

Other nights however, I get thrown at with lighters and shouted at for an order for the fourth round of double Brandy specials and 5 more Jagers, 3 specials and 12 Jager shots down. Yes, I was counting. Only to follow, Beans drenched in tomato sauce to be guzzled out of the can. Entertainment galore. To follow this, getting asked on a Date, having denied as not being interested in anything and being told they know exactly what type of person I am, and why I’m ‘rejecting’ him and it went on. Then getting apologized too about 4 times, being asked if I said no because they’re ugly and lastly being told “We would be good together.” Well, my boy, rejection is hard, I do get that. Nonetheless, it’s simply about needing to mend my own pieces again and having to rediscover myself and my own content space, and happiness. Life isn’t about jumping around, but rather a slow and endless process to rediscovery of oneself.

The tales of a Bar lady are genuinely always of interest and entertainment, especially when someone teases you about your Blog, cough, Mr. Copywriter – but I love it – with all it’s craziness and character.

Sometimes, you need to do what you never thought you would to discover a piece of world you never would have otherwise discovered.

Xox,

N

 

Cape Town: Zeitz Mocaa

Recently, i had the opportunity to visit Zeitz MOCAA (Museum of Contemporary Art Africa), located by the V&A Waterfront. MOCAA houses the largest collection of contemporary African art on the continent and is the only museum of its kind in Africa.

Why the hype? I thought the same, until my Mum explained a little bit about it to me. (P.S Museums are usually not my thing). So turns out, the museum is built in what used to be an old grain silo that was originally built in the 1920’s and was known as one of the tallest buildings within Sub-Saharan Africa. The silo was hollowed out, and one can still see the remnant dug out silo’s, which is pretty creative. The architect behind the masterpiece is known as Thomas Heatherwick, also well known and written about in the Vanity Fair magazine last year some time. Google him!

Inside the actual museum, are a bunch of different rooms across the various floors displaying different and complex art pieces and displays. These were created by some respective artists working today, including but not limited to, Cyrus Kabiru, Hank Willis Thomas, Jody Paulsen, Kendell Geers and William Kentridge, to name just a handful.

I thoroughly enjoyed the museum, it was a totally different concept to usual museums and it was insane how vastly different every piece was from the next. It was intriguing and mind-opening to try and instill yourself within the art.

Definitely take the time to check out the Museum!